Things Shinigami Are Not Allowed To Do

1) Shirubaru is no longer allowed to make references to his Bankai referring to "coming up" or anything else that makes me want to insert bleach into my brain.
1a) Give up, Daisuke, you know I'll do it anyway -Shirubaru
1b) Like offering me a smoke even though I got to my age by NOT smoking? -Daisuke

2.) Nukari is never allowed to babysit.

3.) Nobody is allowed to try this on Yumi.

4.) Katashi is a manga artist. Not a Hentai artist. Requests for the latter will result in having steaks tied to you and being locked in a room with Ami on a sugar high

5) The next person to send Kiljaeran a note saying 'Just as planned' will be found.
5a) Seriously, it's getting out of hand.

6) Tai is not allowed to baby-sit anymore.

7)Likewise, Xavier is no longer allowed to babysit.
7a)Unless the parents in question want their child to be more mature.

8.)All members of Soul Society need to stop sending Satoshi Batman masks. It stopped being funny 2 centuries ago.

9.)Tai is not allowed near any genetic engineering equipment anymore.
9a.)Especially if tentacles will be involved.
9b.) Or fruit.
9c.) Maybe someone needs to cut her budget on buying 12th Division rejects.

10.) Hideki is no longer allowed to apply the return of laws ostracizing and criminalizing vizards.
10a) Demoting vizards to the status of "expendable weapons" are not acceptable either.
10b) "Warbeasts" fall on the same situation.
10c) As do classifying vizards as second class citizens.
10d) Give up already Hideki.

11) Seduction is not a recruitment policy, regardless of what Captain Taniko may have you believe.
11a) Or Captain Satoshi.
11b) Or the instance regarding Alicia Ryder and Marco Gutman.
11c) Seriously, Kusato, cut it out.

12.)Whoever is spreading those rumors about Satoshi's speed affecting "everything" needs to stop.
12a.)The rumors regarding Vizard regeneration can stay.- Satsohi
12b.)I retract 12a, as indirectly as possible. - Satoshi

13.) Satoshi, you have a loving girlfriend and the beginning of a wonderful family. You're heir apparent to the highest shinigami position, and you have recently acquired a noble title. Your brooding rights are officially revoked.
13a.)Satoshi's breeding rights, however…
13b.)Azai! Do you want KP for the next century?

14.) Siegfried, you are not permitted to bring any more former Espada into the Seireitei.
14a.) Yes, this still applies if they are sorry.
14b.) This applies to Taniko as well.

15) NO, I do not have anything "going on" with Shinken. She wants to kill the people spreading these rumours.
15a) And my Inner Hollow wants to kill the people spreading the ones involving him and Shinken.
15b) How does Shinken feel about the rumors regarding her and the aforementioned Inner Hollow?
15c) She wants to hand THEM over to Kinkuzo.
15d) Actually, I want to arrange for them to have an encounter with Von Geister. -Shinken
15e) … that's just cruel. -Daisuke's Inner Hollow

16) Would someone kindly inform Kinkuzo-san that attempting to Gattai zanpaktou is strictly forbidden?

17) Not every restriction of scientific progress can be described as "moral cowardice".

18) Kinkuzo-san is not a member of the Borg, or a Cyberman. Any assertions otherwise will be met with a total lack of "moral cowadice".
18a) Have you ever thought about a hovering, tubular body with an eye stalk?

19) All members involved in destroying Sokyoukou Hill will also take part in returning it to it's previous state.
19a) No, we don't care if "Shirubaru did most of it"; you still have to help.

20) Kiljaeran is no longer allowed to wear his tinfoil hat. It's getting silly.
20a) No, we don't care about "alien rays subverting our minds." Get rid of it.
20b) WE MUST OBEY OUR ALIEN MASTERS.

21) Adrian Visangre is not to be called "walking morphine".
21a)Nor is he a substitute for actual healing at the 4th. Just because it doesnt hurt doesnt mean it wont kill you.

22) Nazo Metta is respectfully requested not to show anyone the characters they were 'based on'. It gets awkward fast.
22a) Neither is he allowed to fight a more cynical, white-haired version of himself from the future.

23) The Brothers Grimm are no longer allowed near the Shinigami Academy. For any purpose.

24) Due to his erratic behaviour for days afterward, Carcharadon is not to be allowed to watch "Jaws" again.
24a) Or its sequels.
24b) Or any future prequel should it be released or indeed any example of the Jaws franchise.

25.)The next person who Satoshi catches trying to convince Kenji to dress up as Robin gets to undergo intensive training. As in, "Go through Satoshi's private automated training machine (or just The Machine), cranked up to max levels (new and improved for bankai + mask!), for 24 hours."
25a.)Those making comments about lifespans of Robins and 2nd Division Vice-Captains get to do that, plus visit Dolores. Satoshi's neice is friends with Carcharadon's girlfried. This can be made to happen, have no doubts.
25b.)Any speculation involving Satoshi, the late Yen, and anything resembling "slash" will involve 24 hours with The Machine, 24 minutes with Dolores, and 24 hours with Satoshi's Inner Hollow.
25c) None of which will stop me spreading the truth - Adrian.
25d.) Since the truth is that Satoshi loves Greta, and that Yen was only ever a comrade and brother, you won't get hurt for spreading the truth. It's when you spread false rumors that I bring the pain. -Satoshi -Batman

26) I AM YOUR MASTER. YOU SHALL LET ME GO FORTH AND SPREAD RUINATION AND DISCORD AMONGST THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD.
- Yours demandingly, The Crown.

27) Alicia is not "in ur palacio" and she is most definitely not "nommin ur foodz"

28) No. Drinking that potion was not deliberate. I WILL find those responsible for suggesting that it was. And they WILL suffer. -Takeshi
28a) …can I hear the story behind this? -Daisuke
28b) Blame one of your former 12th division. -Takeshi
28c) So the Espada have free reign of writing rules for the shinigami? Good to know - Kinezumi
28d) Actually, good point. Takeshi, how the hell did you get a rule on here? -Daisuke

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License